Album review: MAKE-UP IS A LIE by Morrissey

Nobody even listens to Morrissey's albums anymore. Why would you? If you are working for The Guardian or The Irish Times, you only need to say that the guy is a wanker (the language will be different, but you get the idea) with despicable political views and that one of the songs on his new album expounds the conspiracy theory that the fire in Notre-Dame de Paris was not accidental. You need to say that the guy remains a pompous, miserable, Islamophobic narcissist and give the said album a one-star rating. Maybe two stars, if you are feeling generous. 

Which is not to say that Morrissey does not invite such perfunctory criticism (he does like to present himself as a martyr, and the lyrics of "Notre-Dame" are indeed nothing to be proud of) - but can we please get below the surface level and see that Make-Up Is Lie is, in fact, a tuneful, diverse, instrumentally rich collection of songs (some of his best in a while)? Sung in that inimitable voice that hasn't lost any of its power? 

My biggest criticisms of the album are the following:

- The cover isn't great.

- The title song compensates a sparse, non-descript verse melody with a catchy but obnoxious chorus.

- While full of energy and featuring some fiery guitar freakouts, the cover of Roxy Music's "Amazona" was not really necessary. 

And that is that, really. Despite the dodgy lyrics (which he actually made slightly more palatable - the original version would have got him buried even deeper by the British press), "Notre-Dame" is actually a brilliant synthpop single. Elsewhere, "Headache" is one of his best and most melodically rich ballads in years (clever guitar insertions, too). "The Night The Pop Dropped" is funky and intense. "Kerching Kerching", despite its abrupt ending, is a sweeping symphonic pop-rocker with decent lyrics full of bitterness and false hope. Best of all, though, is the closing "The Monsters Of Pig Alley" whose deceptively upbeat melody and wistful lyrics will break your heart. The song is a true masterwork and an early contender for my song of the year.

Humour is, as usual, in short supply - even if the autobiographical "Zoom Zoom The Little Boy" could probably qualify. It is a tale of an impressionable boy (young Morrissey, obviously) who wants to save all animals in the world ("squiggles of the deep" is an amusing turn of phrase, I will give him that). The song is somewhat silly but very infectious. Otherwise, the only hint at Morrissey's sardonic humour is the "naked ladies on the wall" line in "Lester Bangs" - but that one is more awkward than good. 

How does Make-Up Is A Lie stand up against Morrissey's past albums? Well, it is clearly not as great as Vauxhall & I or even Your Arsenal, but how much worse is it, really, than the relatively well-received World Peace Is None Of Your Business? Or even something as beloved as You Are The Quarry? Honestly, just listen to the goddamn music.