Art?
Who cares about art.
From now on, I'm turning* this blog into a cooking blog.
And since I've
recently had a good chance to cook risotto, Italy is where we shall start.
After all, Italy is all about food (besides Dante, opera, fantastic cocktails,
football and a million other things). In fact, the nearest I've come to dying
of gluttony was not far from Piazza del Campo a few years ago. Basically, food
is essential. And you are no kind of man if you can't make the perfect risotto.
So. Here we go.
Risotto. Risotto with
mushrooms.
Ingredients:
First thing you
should get is wine. White wine. Don't go for anything fancy. Simple table wine
(dry or semi-dry) will do. 200ml. Could be a little more, but don't overdo it -
could turn out sour.
Rice. 300g. Arborio
is perfect, but you can't go wrong with camolino.
Mushrooms. 300g. Call
them champignons if you wish to.
1 onion.
Soya sauce. Mix it
with H₂O. I'd say 50ml per one liter of water.
Cheese. Grate it. You
won't need much. This is for embellishment purposes. And for the taste, too.
Butter. Plain butter.
100g of it.
Salt (essential).
Saffron
(inessential).
What else you
will need:
A stewpan and a pair
of hands. If you don't have a stewpan, fuck it, use a decent frying pan. If you
don't have hands, boy, you're in trouble.
Estimated time:
47 minutes.
Process:
Act I.
Put butter into your
stewpan. Or frying pan. Or whatever it is that you are using. Fry the chopped
onion until it turns a little brown and starts to give off that smell.
Act II.
Add mushrooms (chop
the wankers beforehand) into it and fry some more (water from the mushrooms
should all go). Throw the rice into your stewpan. Or frying pan. Or whatever it
is that you are using. Cook it all for a couple of minutes and do not forget to
stir!
Intermission.
Pour wine as well as
your water mixed with soya sauce into the rice. When half of wine and soya
water have evaporated, add salt and a pinch of saffron.
Act III.
Keep stirring. Cook
it all until rice is ready. In the event that the rice is not ready yet and the
wine and the soya water are all gone, add some more soya water and/or wine.
Keep doing it until you feel that the perfect risotto is ready. Then sprinkle
it all with a sensible amount of grated cheese.
The End.
Perfect
background listening:
The Band - Music From Big Pink
By the time "The
Weight" arrives, you should already be pouring white wine into your rice.
To be served
with:
Wine. Good wine. Red,
white, rosé. Good wine. Never drink cheap wine. In spite of what the name of
this site might be telling you.
*I’m
not.
