Of course. Not every
clown can be in a circus. However, if you are the kind of clown who can, there are lots of tips coming your
way. Writing tips. Some are useless. Some are less so.
Some of them are too
abstract. Like: always think of yourself as a writer. Don’t flinch. If someone
asks what you do for a living, tell them you are a writer. Sitting at your
desk, sweating over a new sentence, keep telling yourself you are a writer.
As if that could help.
Spoken words don’t make it. Only written
words do.
Some of them are too
practical. Like: arrange your writing desk in the right way. Some suggest surrounding
yourself with familiar objects. Objects you love. Some (Stephen King) suggest getting
rid of any distractions.
Bullshit. Now I also
like to have it my way. I like a certain font in my Microsoft Word, I like to
have certain books on my desk, I like to hear Arvo Pärt in the background. But
let’s be honest. If you absolutely have to write, you will do that hanging
upside down, with a blunt pencil, on a crumpled piece of paper.
So. While I agree
with Oscar Wilde that advice is a useless commodity, these are the three
greatest writing tips I know. Hang on to them.
1. Never start two
paragraphs in a row with the same word. Unless that’s the idea.
2. Never write a
sentence that absolutely anyone can write.
3. Never spend a day
without writing anything. If you do, you are out.
These three things.
Everything else comes down to talent.
